Blind and deaf.

[2 June]

Well, just before I meet taopok, I just gotta write things down.

Conv was interesting. Slept early the first time while the others were downstairs because I was just super shag. Marion forced me to go back to bunk to sleep. I resisted at first but eventually gave in. I had absolutely zero energy left.

Second night was different.

Well, looking back, I'm sure it was a mistake. I try to convince myself that it wasn't, but deep down I know that it was.

We're not together anymore, so basically what I did was something I shouldn't have done. If I had wanted to, it should have been a long time ago. Truth or dare earlier that night already had things ironed out. Wanted to have a word with you but decided not to.

But whatever I did on that night, I guess it's just me wishing that I could have the past back. If only things were the way they were before, it would be so much different...

So do I regret my actions on that night? Well, it's hard to give a definite answer. It seemed alright at that time because we established some stuff during truth/dare. I went ahead and did what I did. I enjoyed what I did because it was just rare for me to do it. But it was only on the way back home that I had time to think about it. I sat alone at the front seat, being the last one up the bus. I only had my music with me and the world of my thoughts.

I looked back and thought things out, and knew that I had done wrong. It most likely would have strained our relationship, we'll probably distance apart for some time, but maybe even longer than before. But it's alright, I'll accept it bravely. It's the consequence that I have to face for the actions I did. It all started at the reception after truth/dare, when the others were all far ahead, and you wanted to know who it was. I'm not blaming you, I'm just wishing that it never happened.

Well. Stupid of me to let things go the way they did. Most probably you weren't comfortable in the situation, but I had no idea of knowing so I just carried on.

Sigh. We'll have to talk soon.