Reins.

Well, today's quite a day. Woke uo 4 times just to finally gey outta bed at 7.30, then met alison at 8.20ish for morning run. First time running in so long sia. Macam zombie like that. Anyway. Enjoyed the 'run', attempted pull ups but ny muscles were still aching so i couldnt do my usual number.

Then after all that we went for breakfast at teh tarik.

On the way there while walking, we were talking about where to go to next, then we were like

"aiyah wanted to ask claire along, then you can meet her. At least can go watch lorh"
"your parents know about yall two anot"
"no lah, they know i like her only, but dunno that we're together."
"then cannot go out on your own meh?!"
"no lah cannot....not supposed to"
"aiyah then how come you can go out with me!!"
"cuz youre not..."

Yeah. I didnt finish the sentence. I couldnt. The words i couldnt utter out remained hanging on my tongue. But im sure you knew what i was gonna say...that youre not claire.

She pressed on for me to finish the answer, but no. I knew that the moment i said it, it would be a mistake. A horrible one. And i'd hate myself for a long time if i did say it. A friend so important to me, i couldnt possible say those words to her. I would be a terrible, insensitive, stupid human.

Anyway.

Bumped into her friend that should have turned up for the run as well. She brought her younger bro along. Finally reached teh tarik, and i treated her for breakfast since its been soooooo long since we last hung out. Had prata!! Hehehehe. Yeah paid for that one, then we bought this ice milo. Super big cup sia so it was like $2.20. Super ex ohmygosh. Aiyah. But once in a never-anymore-while is okay lah huh.

Lepaked there for a while, talked about this and that, then finally headed home at like 11am.

Bathed immediately upon reaching home, TF-ed, then slept for the last hour to pass by before leaving for ward mother's day celeb while listening to my new songs. Woke up with this thing on my left eye. Went to wash up, realised that there was something really wrong.

There was red lining on my lower left eyelid. At first i thought my eye was red. But soon i realised that it was some certain lining that had detached from some flesh. IN MY EYE. Pulled my eyelid down, and BAM.

Stye.

Again. But this time on my left eye. Showed it to mom and dad, and then i went down to get it checked on. The freaking eyedrop is so expensive. $42.80 or something like that. Plus consultation lah.

Anyway. Headed over to ward mother's day celeb at the stake centre. Ate well, then stayed back to watch ming and jeff play bball. Left at around 8pm. Talked about this and that.

But the part where ming left at smb, i really began to think.

I was wondering if and how i could say "if you wanna meet up after school, i'll try my best to get out early".
Was it possible for me to be released early? Yeah definitely. Its poly after all.
But what if, for some mysterious reason, that i could not?
What would be left of my credibility?
"you say you can but then now cannot. Make up your mind can anot?"
So how much can i say, and how much have i said already, before my words backfire on me?

Its a scary thought, really. Its creepy. But one that i felt must be faced.
There are so many things i wish i could do with you, but circumstances make it difficult.
Its not that im thinking of backing out. No, im not. I dont want to.
We're too precious to back out.
I'll still be understanding, dont get me wrong. I just wished that we could hang out more. And communicate more smoothly.

I still dont get why you dont wanna delete the smses. At least the less important ones. Isnt it a burden, smsing, because of all our smses stored in your phone? Lag so much.

But hey. Who am i to tell you what to do?
Im just your boyfriend. Not your dad.