Absurd.

Okay so this is really stressful. 

First I got an SMS from dana asking my if I'm going for YC. 

After church, Krystine came up to me and asked me if I was going for YC this year. Prior to this, I heard that given my age, I am still eligible to go for it. I told her that I knew that my age allowed me to go. Then after that, Wendell came along and asked me "hey Sam so are you going?" Then I was like "well, nobody told me anything about it until now..." So I told them that I'd give them an answer when I decide. 

I thought about my FYP. I thought about revision, working during my holidays...and i figured that I could and should go for YC. After all, it's the only one that I really wanna go to...and it's my last too. Technically. Anyhoos. Wendell passed me a form to fill up, which took me like 5mins to fill up cuz I was talking to Danna and the other YW in the ward. Annoying. Anyway. I headed over to ward YSA FHE and then had refreshments. 

Helped out mom and Sis Valoy with the packing and organizing of the ward shirts...I places the uncompleted form in moms bag for her to bring home for me. I went home first, started writing the article for yesterday's A.PRINCE showcase. Bopian, got deadline ah. Didn't manage to finish it though. It was already 4pm (time flies so fast) so I faster chiong to stake centre. I was supposed to be there early....

Reached at 4.59pm. Way too late. Meeting started liao by that time. Soooooooo. I told dana that I'd be going for YC and that I can do the workshop for her. 

So here it is.  

Nobody told me anything about YC. Inference says "sam can't go"

Then now they tell me my name is in the list. "Sam can go"

So after the CES Devotional, I rushed back home with the gang and then reached home at like 7.50pm. Early for HT. first thing that dad told me is that Pres Kwan says I can't go for YC cuz I'm over-aged unless I'm a youth leader. 

Anyway. 

Wonderful sharing lesson, asked a question that Pres Lai said was a good question. Got it answered. They left, then my tenant came home, we all started talking to her. Cooked dinner. Ate. Then bathed. Then now, I'm here lorh lying on my bed. 

And so now, I can't go for YC. Not even to give a workshop. Sian max. 

Talked with Claire about be change of events...I was telling her how I could still go, but as a youth leader. Then suddenly talking with dad and mom, then it was brought up that i can't go AT ALL because I'm an Elder already. And I'm not a youth leader.  

This is where it all starts. All the mixed feelings start to come uppppp. It's annoying. Knowing that I was so close, but now, so far. 

Without being able to soak up the feelings properly, I'm tossed around boundless times. 

I don't like  this :(

I don't care if I'm giving a workshop or not, I just wanna go. 

Today isn't enough for me.