i have finally figured it out.
i spent a good amount of time thinking it through, and it is now safe to say that i have got it figured out.
why i have the incessant need to be part of something important, or to be important altogether.
sorry but im not gonna post it up here man. lol.
sensitive issue. but if you wanna know, ask me.
most likely (depending on how much i know you lol) i'd share it with you.
no guarantees. but my trusted people, you know who you are.
cheers.
Sunday, 17 November 2013
Saturday, 16 November 2013
YUCKS
tell me what is this nonsense. stupid SBJ. and i think they changed the 2.4km timing. i clocked 12:09. not 12. and the number so nice some more.
Thursday, 14 November 2013
NAPFA results
Sit-ups (in 1 minute): 47: A
Standing Broad Jump: 215cm: E
Sit & Reach: 45cm: B
Pull-ups (in 1 minute): 12: A
Shuttle Run (4x20m): 9.83sec: A
2.4km Run-Walk: 12:09mins: D
SBJ messed up everything. i never was good at it, but still....i could have gotten a GOLD.
2.4k was messed up too. wasnt feeling too well before the run and so that affected my laps. ming said "dont give me excuses!" when i smsed him my results lol. but yeah...my first lap SHOULD have been 1.20minutes, but it took me 1:42minutes. AND THAT SUCKS. A LOT.
super sad :(
but im impressed with my sit-ups. i thought my core muscles had died since i skipped karate for 6months, only returning last month or so. sit and reach too. i thought i'd get like 30cm or something. shocking. and even worse. my pull ups. i could only do 4 pull ups sometime around 4 weeks ago. and then now BAM i can do 12. lol. shuttle run is okay. but the stupid floor was freaking slippery. im sure i could have gotten 9.2 seconds like the last time.
oh well :(
guess i'll have to settle for a bronze :(
sigh :(
Standing Broad Jump: 215cm: E
Sit & Reach: 45cm: B
Pull-ups (in 1 minute): 12: A
Shuttle Run (4x20m): 9.83sec: A
2.4km Run-Walk: 12:09mins: D
SBJ messed up everything. i never was good at it, but still....i could have gotten a GOLD.
2.4k was messed up too. wasnt feeling too well before the run and so that affected my laps. ming said "dont give me excuses!" when i smsed him my results lol. but yeah...my first lap SHOULD have been 1.20minutes, but it took me 1:42minutes. AND THAT SUCKS. A LOT.
super sad :(
but im impressed with my sit-ups. i thought my core muscles had died since i skipped karate for 6months, only returning last month or so. sit and reach too. i thought i'd get like 30cm or something. shocking. and even worse. my pull ups. i could only do 4 pull ups sometime around 4 weeks ago. and then now BAM i can do 12. lol. shuttle run is okay. but the stupid floor was freaking slippery. im sure i could have gotten 9.2 seconds like the last time.
oh well :(
guess i'll have to settle for a bronze :(
sigh :(
gibberish
wrote this a long time ago (feels like 2months) but only publishing it today.
_____________________________
_____________________________
I don't know why im
feeling so listless and emotionless right now. It really does feel like
as if I don't have anything to channel any emotion towards. Entering
the train, everybody suddenly looks at me. I'm left to wonder, "is there
anything about me that attracts all your attention?" soon, they return
back to their own businesses, and finally im left to being on my own
again without any stares.
Emotionless. I wish I could control when I feel my emotions.
_____________________________
sian and i have napfa tomorrow. worried like siao. think im gonna have to settle with bronze because of my SBJ. i cant jump sia wth. at most maybe 220 only. and my pull-ups...last time can do like fun only. now like sai sia URGH. the rest like okay lah.
sit ups..maybe can hit 40. gonna try to get 50 though. but that was my peak...which was years ago.
shuttle run can get A for sure. i clocked 9.2seconds.
sit and reach...havent done it in a long time but somehow during my absence from karate, i became more flexible (where is the logic in that) but oh well hope its the same for tomorrow lol.
so yeah.
gonna try my hardest for SBJ and pull ups.
2.4km gonna get B i think, since i clocked in at 10:54. no music with lots of brain power. plus it was hot so maybe if its cooler tomorrow, i could and might run better. lol. idk. im not the runner type of person. but its amazing. after no PE for 2+ years, skipped training for 6months, my timing GOT BETTER by 2.5minutes. sec4 napfa clocked 13:30. lol.
im weird.
end of story.
lol.
*UPDATE*
and stupid BPCO test on friday im so not ready. i only went through the first tutorial. basically memorised everything sia how is this even possible. my memory sucks i cant remember things at all. birthdays and names are the worst for me. lab test for MAPP sometime soon (idk when sia). test here test there. madness.
needa finish up BSTATS project part I this week. even though im not the group leader. im teamed up with zul and zi cong. and i think im to blame for that. they're the weak links in the class. plus me too. but hey. among the three of us, im not the weakest. i just hang around everybody and dont belong to any clique in the class. so group work becomes a problem. everybody gets snapped up and im left with the remnants. and matthew pangseh me, join team with jun wei. psh.
so i naturally took to the helm (does that even make sense, let alone does it exist). i organised everthing, chose the topic, email the lecturer, started on the report which they didnt initiate. so basically i am the group leader. but guess what, in the report, we chose zul as the leader. i was hoping that i would be the group leader, but me being nice, i let him choose lah. maybe i should tell them that i'd rather be the group leader. since zul...isnt really...a good leader....he chin chai one sia. not firm in his decisions. and idk how to work with them for the video in the second term. WTS idk im not gonna use my D7k for the video. its too precious to be held in someone else's hands. gonna settle for a P/S camera. and we're all gonna be in the video right...dangit im gonna stand out like a freaking rainbow. zul and zi cong in all their awkwardness and weirdness.
i shiver at the thought ohmgosh i am doomed.
then still got MAPP nonsense. grouped with matthew and we decided to make a percussion instrument lol. the specifics are all for later but we generally have the idea. zi cong (again) in his weirdness, slotted himself into our group without us saying anything lolwut. talked to matt about it otw home today (we stayed back to start on the presentation slides) and decided to not have zi cong in the group. so...one of us better tell him tomorrow. he's gonna rage i tell you. FOR SURE. just like how he raged on monday when i pointed out his error.
we were working on the BSTATS report. then since we got the bar graph thing (i forgot what its called), we needed to talk about the kurtosis and skewness. WTF. the value for skewness is 0.10 for BOTH GRAPHS and he was so freaking adamant on saying that THE GRAPHS ARE NOT SYMMETRICAL.
and guess what. there was a freakin GRAPH for us to VISUALLY LOOK AT. he still said that it "doesnt look symmetrical". i asked him "how is it not symmetrical?!?!?!?!" then guess what?
zi cong: "youre eyes are screwed man how the **ck is it symmetrical"
i rage first. but i didnt show it.
not the slightest hint.
i turned the lecture notes to the part where they talked about skewness and symmtrical-ness and pointed it to him, PLUS reading it out.
"A distribution with G value zero or near to zero can be considered to be perfectly symmetrical."
i explained that since the value G is 0.10 is pretty SUPER NEAR to zero, that i consider it to be "quite symmetrical".
he blur.
he read.
he took the lecture notes from me.
he read.
i said "zi congggggg...."
BAMBAMBAM RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
he stood up from his chair, started yammering loudly and pointing his finger here and there and all over the place, saying oh how he cant work in the biolab with all of us "screaming so loudly" and he "cant concentrate" and said "if YOU (referring to me) wanna do the report so badly then you just do it on your own okay stop telling me what to do".
i kept my cool. "then listen to music lah (his music is hardcore metal. and screamo. i think those are way noisier than us {who definitely were not screaming so loudly}) then problem solved what"
lol. he huay tahan.
shut down his com and stomped off.
but only after i told him to send whatever we've done to my email.
lol.
i so thick skin.
but seriously. i even asked if he got pay attention in class or not. he said no. so OF COURSE things will go wrong. i asked him "so you got study?" and he said no. alamak jialat lah. and so just because of his own problems (not paying attention in class, not catching up on his own), he decided use his ulti move on me: RAGE. and all because i pointed out where he was wrong.
#okcan
he stomped off, pushed the door open so hard that if someone was there in the corridor, he'd be gravely injured. and yeah. stormed off.
once i was sure he wasnt coming back, i laughed to myself, and thought this is ridiculous. my classmates asked me what happened and i just related the whole thing to them. matthew said "zi cong is seriously weird" lol.
i couldnt agree more.
but hey. its okay to be weird.
just make sure you put in effort in your studies.
dont blame anyone else just because you didnt make the effort to understand what was being taught.
and control yourself more.
stop using **ck so often because it really shows how much self control you have.
i dont mind weird conversations.
i've been through all your weird convos for 2.5years already, im used to it.
just dont be ridiculous and unreasonable.
like in this case.
and zul is in our group too. GROUP LEADER. and we let him go off for FYP stuff. he came back, stuck with his FYP group.
#okcan
SEEEEEEEEEEE MY GROUP. its the three of us. i might as well be the only one doing all the work. and i tell you, gimme 2 days. i can finish the whole report. i dont need you guys to do it for me. im capable on my own. im just unfortunately paired up with yall. i understand what they're asking for, i know how to give them what they want.
im the strongest weakest link.
whoa. thats kinda weird.
but true.
i AM the strongest weakest link.
no doubt.
amazing how there are so many opportunities in poly to discover myself.
ahahhahahahhhahahhaa.
amazing.
Emotionless. I wish I could control when I feel my emotions.
_____________________________
sian and i have napfa tomorrow. worried like siao. think im gonna have to settle with bronze because of my SBJ. i cant jump sia wth. at most maybe 220 only. and my pull-ups...last time can do like fun only. now like sai sia URGH. the rest like okay lah.
sit ups..maybe can hit 40. gonna try to get 50 though. but that was my peak...which was years ago.
shuttle run can get A for sure. i clocked 9.2seconds.
sit and reach...havent done it in a long time but somehow during my absence from karate, i became more flexible (where is the logic in that) but oh well hope its the same for tomorrow lol.
so yeah.
gonna try my hardest for SBJ and pull ups.
2.4km gonna get B i think, since i clocked in at 10:54. no music with lots of brain power. plus it was hot so maybe if its cooler tomorrow, i could and might run better. lol. idk. im not the runner type of person. but its amazing. after no PE for 2+ years, skipped training for 6months, my timing GOT BETTER by 2.5minutes. sec4 napfa clocked 13:30. lol.
im weird.
end of story.
lol.
*UPDATE*
and stupid BPCO test on friday im so not ready. i only went through the first tutorial. basically memorised everything sia how is this even possible. my memory sucks i cant remember things at all. birthdays and names are the worst for me. lab test for MAPP sometime soon (idk when sia). test here test there. madness.
needa finish up BSTATS project part I this week. even though im not the group leader. im teamed up with zul and zi cong. and i think im to blame for that. they're the weak links in the class. plus me too. but hey. among the three of us, im not the weakest. i just hang around everybody and dont belong to any clique in the class. so group work becomes a problem. everybody gets snapped up and im left with the remnants. and matthew pangseh me, join team with jun wei. psh.
so i naturally took to the helm (does that even make sense, let alone does it exist). i organised everthing, chose the topic, email the lecturer, started on the report which they didnt initiate. so basically i am the group leader. but guess what, in the report, we chose zul as the leader. i was hoping that i would be the group leader, but me being nice, i let him choose lah. maybe i should tell them that i'd rather be the group leader. since zul...isnt really...a good leader....he chin chai one sia. not firm in his decisions. and idk how to work with them for the video in the second term. WTS idk im not gonna use my D7k for the video. its too precious to be held in someone else's hands. gonna settle for a P/S camera. and we're all gonna be in the video right...dangit im gonna stand out like a freaking rainbow. zul and zi cong in all their awkwardness and weirdness.
i shiver at the thought ohmgosh i am doomed.
then still got MAPP nonsense. grouped with matthew and we decided to make a percussion instrument lol. the specifics are all for later but we generally have the idea. zi cong (again) in his weirdness, slotted himself into our group without us saying anything lolwut. talked to matt about it otw home today (we stayed back to start on the presentation slides) and decided to not have zi cong in the group. so...one of us better tell him tomorrow. he's gonna rage i tell you. FOR SURE. just like how he raged on monday when i pointed out his error.
we were working on the BSTATS report. then since we got the bar graph thing (i forgot what its called), we needed to talk about the kurtosis and skewness. WTF. the value for skewness is 0.10 for BOTH GRAPHS and he was so freaking adamant on saying that THE GRAPHS ARE NOT SYMMETRICAL.
and guess what. there was a freakin GRAPH for us to VISUALLY LOOK AT. he still said that it "doesnt look symmetrical". i asked him "how is it not symmetrical?!?!?!?!" then guess what?
zi cong: "youre eyes are screwed man how the **ck is it symmetrical"
i rage first. but i didnt show it.
not the slightest hint.
i turned the lecture notes to the part where they talked about skewness and symmtrical-ness and pointed it to him, PLUS reading it out.
"A distribution with G value zero or near to zero can be considered to be perfectly symmetrical."
i explained that since the value G is 0.10 is pretty SUPER NEAR to zero, that i consider it to be "quite symmetrical".
he blur.
he read.
he took the lecture notes from me.
he read.
i said "zi congggggg...."
BAMBAMBAM RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
he stood up from his chair, started yammering loudly and pointing his finger here and there and all over the place, saying oh how he cant work in the biolab with all of us "screaming so loudly" and he "cant concentrate" and said "if YOU (referring to me) wanna do the report so badly then you just do it on your own okay stop telling me what to do".
i kept my cool. "then listen to music lah (his music is hardcore metal. and screamo. i think those are way noisier than us {who definitely were not screaming so loudly}) then problem solved what"
lol. he huay tahan.
shut down his com and stomped off.
but only after i told him to send whatever we've done to my email.
lol.
i so thick skin.
but seriously. i even asked if he got pay attention in class or not. he said no. so OF COURSE things will go wrong. i asked him "so you got study?" and he said no. alamak jialat lah. and so just because of his own problems (not paying attention in class, not catching up on his own), he decided use his ulti move on me: RAGE. and all because i pointed out where he was wrong.
#okcan
he stomped off, pushed the door open so hard that if someone was there in the corridor, he'd be gravely injured. and yeah. stormed off.
once i was sure he wasnt coming back, i laughed to myself, and thought this is ridiculous. my classmates asked me what happened and i just related the whole thing to them. matthew said "zi cong is seriously weird" lol.
i couldnt agree more.
but hey. its okay to be weird.
just make sure you put in effort in your studies.
dont blame anyone else just because you didnt make the effort to understand what was being taught.
and control yourself more.
stop using **ck so often because it really shows how much self control you have.
i dont mind weird conversations.
i've been through all your weird convos for 2.5years already, im used to it.
just dont be ridiculous and unreasonable.
like in this case.
and zul is in our group too. GROUP LEADER. and we let him go off for FYP stuff. he came back, stuck with his FYP group.
#okcan
SEEEEEEEEEEE MY GROUP. its the three of us. i might as well be the only one doing all the work. and i tell you, gimme 2 days. i can finish the whole report. i dont need you guys to do it for me. im capable on my own. im just unfortunately paired up with yall. i understand what they're asking for, i know how to give them what they want.
im the strongest weakest link.
whoa. thats kinda weird.
but true.
i AM the strongest weakest link.
no doubt.
amazing how there are so many opportunities in poly to discover myself.
ahahhahahahhhahahhaa.
amazing.
Sunday, 10 November 2013
RE:
i wanna hear your laughter.
i wanna hear your nonsense.
i wanna be with you when you go mad.
i wanna be there when you go crazy.
i wanna share your problems, your worries.
i wanna be the one to pick you up when you're down.
i wanna be the one to hold your hand.
i wanna be the one you share treasure memories with.
i wanna go out and chill with you.
i wanna have fun with you.
i wanna wipe away your tears.
i wanna bring a smile to your face.
i might try.
because now things aren't the same.
i think.
i wanna hear your nonsense.
i wanna be with you when you go mad.
i wanna be there when you go crazy.
i wanna share your problems, your worries.
i wanna be the one to pick you up when you're down.
i wanna be the one to hold your hand.
i wanna be the one you share treasure memories with.
i wanna go out and chill with you.
i wanna have fun with you.
i wanna wipe away your tears.
i wanna bring a smile to your face.
i might try.
because now things aren't the same.
i think.
moooooooooooooooooooooppppp
oh and.
some people i know indirectly ship me and you together lol.\
they talk about you and end up saying SAM IM NOT GOING FOR HER OKAY SHE'S YOURS
lol.
yeah sure you're nice and all, i wouldnt mind it actually.
but i guess im in the friendzoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone.
yeah its a long one.
i dont think it's special so forget it.
so i guess no point in me trying to get close to you.
i guess you're too busy with life!!
but anyway.
er.
forgot what i was gonna say.
see lah.
anyway i saw this picture uploaded on facebook. i cant find it :(
but in relation to what i talked about just now, i'll quote it:
"Are you a ballpoint pen because youre
EXTRA FINE"
okay you need to see the picture to get it.
some people i know indirectly ship me and you together lol.\
they talk about you and end up saying SAM IM NOT GOING FOR HER OKAY SHE'S YOURS
lol.
yeah sure you're nice and all, i wouldnt mind it actually.
but i guess im in the friendzoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone.
yeah its a long one.
i dont think it's special so forget it.
so i guess no point in me trying to get close to you.
i guess you're too busy with life!!
but anyway.
er.
forgot what i was gonna say.
see lah.
anyway i saw this picture uploaded on facebook. i cant find it :(
but in relation to what i talked about just now, i'll quote it:
"Are you a ballpoint pen because youre
EXTRA FINE"
okay you need to see the picture to get it.
Saturday, 9 November 2013
team rocketttttttttt
guys lets face it.
she IS weird.
and i dont know how her boyf can tahan her. and hey her boyf does some extreme things too. idk how she can tahan him. but...love makes it somehow possible eh? her boyf doesnt let her pick up some calls. he blocks numbers after scrolling through her phone. he's nice to send her to class every now and then, we all see him. and she is weird. she is super serious. her jokes arent funny. so we're left with uuuuuuuuuuuuuuber awkward conversations. good thing im not hanging around with her alot.
sure, she's smart. but what the heck is IQ when you dont have EQ? she's always with her FT group. she doesnt mix with us locals. and she's OVERLY AMBITIOUS. everything also wanna do. she signed up for 4 or so CCAs. say she wanna do this, wanna do that...but its all for the freaking CCA points!! she's always inviting us to go for this and that event, and im like..."dude seriously can you stop". ITS SOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING. and she fangirls over JAY CHOU. ohmygosh. "my husband" YOUR HEAD AHHHHHH. okay but that's why she's called a fangirl. but i cannot tahan. like..HELLO. in your dreams only lah but alamak. dont so hard core can. maintain a bit. i know, i understand. fans are fans. and im the rare kind of controlled composed kind of fan. but haiyah...forget it lah.
and stop drawing on my notes please thank you. you draw a cutesy flower which can say "hello!" and you add your name with a heart shape. dang thats so lovely that im falling for you -.- too bad i erased it already. i should have taken a picture to post up here. sigh. and im not the only one who gets it. so good and bad. good cuz im no getting any special treatment, bad cuz ALL THE OTHER VICTIMS ARE GETTING IT TOO. sigh..
anyway. her group is the smart group. people like me dont belong there.
anyway.
not like as if i belong anywhere in the class either.
im just the lingering one, hopping between groups/cliques.
ending up with the leftovers for group work, where i naturally assume the group leader role.
cuz the others dont.
enough musing.
i should be happy with whatever i have, right?
too bad im not.
somehow.
anyway.
something to read. (you're supposed to click on it)
kinda interesting.
and whats with the pokemon craze anyway? people buying 3DSXL just to play Pokemon X/Y. wtf. too much money is it.
she IS weird.
and i dont know how her boyf can tahan her. and hey her boyf does some extreme things too. idk how she can tahan him. but...love makes it somehow possible eh? her boyf doesnt let her pick up some calls. he blocks numbers after scrolling through her phone. he's nice to send her to class every now and then, we all see him. and she is weird. she is super serious. her jokes arent funny. so we're left with uuuuuuuuuuuuuuber awkward conversations. good thing im not hanging around with her alot.
sure, she's smart. but what the heck is IQ when you dont have EQ? she's always with her FT group. she doesnt mix with us locals. and she's OVERLY AMBITIOUS. everything also wanna do. she signed up for 4 or so CCAs. say she wanna do this, wanna do that...but its all for the freaking CCA points!! she's always inviting us to go for this and that event, and im like..."dude seriously can you stop". ITS SOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING. and she fangirls over JAY CHOU. ohmygosh. "my husband" YOUR HEAD AHHHHHH. okay but that's why she's called a fangirl. but i cannot tahan. like..HELLO. in your dreams only lah but alamak. dont so hard core can. maintain a bit. i know, i understand. fans are fans. and im the rare kind of controlled composed kind of fan. but haiyah...forget it lah.
and stop drawing on my notes please thank you. you draw a cutesy flower which can say "hello!" and you add your name with a heart shape. dang thats so lovely that im falling for you -.- too bad i erased it already. i should have taken a picture to post up here. sigh. and im not the only one who gets it. so good and bad. good cuz im no getting any special treatment, bad cuz ALL THE OTHER VICTIMS ARE GETTING IT TOO. sigh..
anyway. her group is the smart group. people like me dont belong there.
anyway.
not like as if i belong anywhere in the class either.
im just the lingering one, hopping between groups/cliques.
ending up with the leftovers for group work, where i naturally assume the group leader role.
cuz the others dont.
enough musing.
i should be happy with whatever i have, right?
too bad im not.
somehow.
anyway.
something to read. (you're supposed to click on it)
kinda interesting.
and whats with the pokemon craze anyway? people buying 3DSXL just to play Pokemon X/Y. wtf. too much money is it.
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