_____________________________
I don't know why im
feeling so listless and emotionless right now. It really does feel like
as if I don't have anything to channel any emotion towards. Entering
the train, everybody suddenly looks at me. I'm left to wonder, "is there
anything about me that attracts all your attention?" soon, they return
back to their own businesses, and finally im left to being on my own
again without any stares.
Emotionless. I wish I could control when I feel my emotions.
_____________________________
sian and i have napfa tomorrow. worried like siao. think im gonna have to settle with bronze because of my SBJ. i cant jump sia wth. at most maybe 220 only. and my pull-ups...last time can do like fun only. now like sai sia URGH. the rest like okay lah.
sit ups..maybe can hit 40. gonna try to get 50 though. but that was my peak...which was years ago.
shuttle run can get A for sure. i clocked 9.2seconds.
sit and reach...havent done it in a long time but somehow during my absence from karate, i became more flexible (where is the logic in that) but oh well hope its the same for tomorrow lol.
so yeah.
gonna try my hardest for SBJ and pull ups.
2.4km gonna get B i think, since i clocked in at 10:54. no music with lots of brain power. plus it was hot so maybe if its cooler tomorrow, i could and might run better. lol. idk. im not the runner type of person. but its amazing. after no PE for 2+ years, skipped training for 6months, my timing GOT BETTER by 2.5minutes. sec4 napfa clocked 13:30. lol.
im weird.
end of story.
lol.
*UPDATE*
and stupid BPCO test on friday im so not ready. i only went through the first tutorial. basically memorised everything sia how is this even possible. my memory sucks i cant remember things at all. birthdays and names are the worst for me. lab test for MAPP sometime soon (idk when sia). test here test there. madness.
needa finish up BSTATS project part I this week. even though im not the group leader. im teamed up with zul and zi cong. and i think im to blame for that. they're the weak links in the class. plus me too. but hey. among the three of us, im not the weakest. i just hang around everybody and dont belong to any clique in the class. so group work becomes a problem. everybody gets snapped up and im left with the remnants. and matthew pangseh me, join team with jun wei. psh.
so i naturally took to the helm (does that even make sense, let alone does it exist). i organised everthing, chose the topic, email the lecturer, started on the report which they didnt initiate. so basically i am the group leader. but guess what, in the report, we chose zul as the leader. i was hoping that i would be the group leader, but me being nice, i let him choose lah. maybe i should tell them that i'd rather be the group leader. since zul...isnt really...a good leader....he chin chai one sia. not firm in his decisions. and idk how to work with them for the video in the second term. WTS idk im not gonna use my D7k for the video. its too precious to be held in someone else's hands. gonna settle for a P/S camera. and we're all gonna be in the video right...dangit im gonna stand out like a freaking rainbow. zul and zi cong in all their awkwardness and weirdness.
i shiver at the thought ohmgosh i am doomed.
then still got MAPP nonsense. grouped with matthew and we decided to make a percussion instrument lol. the specifics are all for later but we generally have the idea. zi cong (again) in his weirdness, slotted himself into our group without us saying anything lolwut. talked to matt about it otw home today (we stayed back to start on the presentation slides) and decided to not have zi cong in the group. so...one of us better tell him tomorrow. he's gonna rage i tell you. FOR SURE. just like how he raged on monday when i pointed out his error.
we were working on the BSTATS report. then since we got the bar graph thing (i forgot what its called), we needed to talk about the kurtosis and skewness. WTF. the value for skewness is 0.10 for BOTH GRAPHS and he was so freaking adamant on saying that THE GRAPHS ARE NOT SYMMETRICAL.
and guess what. there was a freakin GRAPH for us to VISUALLY LOOK AT. he still said that it "doesnt look symmetrical". i asked him "how is it not symmetrical?!?!?!?!" then guess what?
zi cong: "youre eyes are screwed man how the **ck is it symmetrical"
i rage first. but i didnt show it.
not the slightest hint.
i turned the lecture notes to the part where they talked about skewness and symmtrical-ness and pointed it to him, PLUS reading it out.
"A distribution with G value zero or near to zero can be considered to be perfectly symmetrical."
i explained that since the value G is 0.10 is pretty SUPER NEAR to zero, that i consider it to be "quite symmetrical".
he blur.
he read.
he took the lecture notes from me.
he read.
i said "zi congggggg...."
BAMBAMBAM RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
he stood up from his chair, started yammering loudly and pointing his finger here and there and all over the place, saying oh how he cant work in the biolab with all of us "screaming so loudly" and he "cant concentrate" and said "if YOU (referring to me) wanna do the report so badly then you just do it on your own okay stop telling me what to do".
i kept my cool. "then listen to music lah (his music is hardcore metal. and screamo. i think those are way noisier than us {who definitely were not screaming so loudly}) then problem solved what"
lol. he huay tahan.
shut down his com and stomped off.
but only after i told him to send whatever we've done to my email.
lol.
i so thick skin.
but seriously. i even asked if he got pay attention in class or not. he said no. so OF COURSE things will go wrong. i asked him "so you got study?" and he said no. alamak jialat lah. and so just because of his own problems (not paying attention in class, not catching up on his own), he decided use his ulti move on me: RAGE. and all because i pointed out where he was wrong.
#okcan
he stomped off, pushed the door open so hard that if someone was there in the corridor, he'd be gravely injured. and yeah. stormed off.
once i was sure he wasnt coming back, i laughed to myself, and thought this is ridiculous. my classmates asked me what happened and i just related the whole thing to them. matthew said "zi cong is seriously weird" lol.
i couldnt agree more.
but hey. its okay to be weird.
just make sure you put in effort in your studies.
dont blame anyone else just because you didnt make the effort to understand what was being taught.
and control yourself more.
stop using **ck so often because it really shows how much self control you have.
i dont mind weird conversations.
i've been through all your weird convos for 2.5years already, im used to it.
just dont be ridiculous and unreasonable.
like in this case.
and zul is in our group too. GROUP LEADER. and we let him go off for FYP stuff. he came back, stuck with his FYP group.
#okcan
SEEEEEEEEEEE MY GROUP. its the three of us. i might as well be the only one doing all the work. and i tell you, gimme 2 days. i can finish the whole report. i dont need you guys to do it for me. im capable on my own. im just unfortunately paired up with yall. i understand what they're asking for, i know how to give them what they want.
im the strongest weakest link.
whoa. thats kinda weird.
but true.
i AM the strongest weakest link.
no doubt.
amazing how there are so many opportunities in poly to discover myself.
ahahhahahahhhahahhaa.
amazing.
Emotionless. I wish I could control when I feel my emotions.
_____________________________
sian and i have napfa tomorrow. worried like siao. think im gonna have to settle with bronze because of my SBJ. i cant jump sia wth. at most maybe 220 only. and my pull-ups...last time can do like fun only. now like sai sia URGH. the rest like okay lah.
sit ups..maybe can hit 40. gonna try to get 50 though. but that was my peak...which was years ago.
shuttle run can get A for sure. i clocked 9.2seconds.
sit and reach...havent done it in a long time but somehow during my absence from karate, i became more flexible (where is the logic in that) but oh well hope its the same for tomorrow lol.
so yeah.
gonna try my hardest for SBJ and pull ups.
2.4km gonna get B i think, since i clocked in at 10:54. no music with lots of brain power. plus it was hot so maybe if its cooler tomorrow, i could and might run better. lol. idk. im not the runner type of person. but its amazing. after no PE for 2+ years, skipped training for 6months, my timing GOT BETTER by 2.5minutes. sec4 napfa clocked 13:30. lol.
im weird.
end of story.
lol.
*UPDATE*
and stupid BPCO test on friday im so not ready. i only went through the first tutorial. basically memorised everything sia how is this even possible. my memory sucks i cant remember things at all. birthdays and names are the worst for me. lab test for MAPP sometime soon (idk when sia). test here test there. madness.
needa finish up BSTATS project part I this week. even though im not the group leader. im teamed up with zul and zi cong. and i think im to blame for that. they're the weak links in the class. plus me too. but hey. among the three of us, im not the weakest. i just hang around everybody and dont belong to any clique in the class. so group work becomes a problem. everybody gets snapped up and im left with the remnants. and matthew pangseh me, join team with jun wei. psh.
so i naturally took to the helm (does that even make sense, let alone does it exist). i organised everthing, chose the topic, email the lecturer, started on the report which they didnt initiate. so basically i am the group leader. but guess what, in the report, we chose zul as the leader. i was hoping that i would be the group leader, but me being nice, i let him choose lah. maybe i should tell them that i'd rather be the group leader. since zul...isnt really...a good leader....he chin chai one sia. not firm in his decisions. and idk how to work with them for the video in the second term. WTS idk im not gonna use my D7k for the video. its too precious to be held in someone else's hands. gonna settle for a P/S camera. and we're all gonna be in the video right...dangit im gonna stand out like a freaking rainbow. zul and zi cong in all their awkwardness and weirdness.
i shiver at the thought ohmgosh i am doomed.
then still got MAPP nonsense. grouped with matthew and we decided to make a percussion instrument lol. the specifics are all for later but we generally have the idea. zi cong (again) in his weirdness, slotted himself into our group without us saying anything lolwut. talked to matt about it otw home today (we stayed back to start on the presentation slides) and decided to not have zi cong in the group. so...one of us better tell him tomorrow. he's gonna rage i tell you. FOR SURE. just like how he raged on monday when i pointed out his error.
we were working on the BSTATS report. then since we got the bar graph thing (i forgot what its called), we needed to talk about the kurtosis and skewness. WTF. the value for skewness is 0.10 for BOTH GRAPHS and he was so freaking adamant on saying that THE GRAPHS ARE NOT SYMMETRICAL.
and guess what. there was a freakin GRAPH for us to VISUALLY LOOK AT. he still said that it "doesnt look symmetrical". i asked him "how is it not symmetrical?!?!?!?!" then guess what?
zi cong: "youre eyes are screwed man how the **ck is it symmetrical"
i rage first. but i didnt show it.
not the slightest hint.
i turned the lecture notes to the part where they talked about skewness and symmtrical-ness and pointed it to him, PLUS reading it out.
"A distribution with G value zero or near to zero can be considered to be perfectly symmetrical."
i explained that since the value G is 0.10 is pretty SUPER NEAR to zero, that i consider it to be "quite symmetrical".
he blur.
he read.
he took the lecture notes from me.
he read.
i said "zi congggggg...."
BAMBAMBAM RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
he stood up from his chair, started yammering loudly and pointing his finger here and there and all over the place, saying oh how he cant work in the biolab with all of us "screaming so loudly" and he "cant concentrate" and said "if YOU (referring to me) wanna do the report so badly then you just do it on your own okay stop telling me what to do".
i kept my cool. "then listen to music lah (his music is hardcore metal. and screamo. i think those are way noisier than us {who definitely were not screaming so loudly}) then problem solved what"
lol. he huay tahan.
shut down his com and stomped off.
but only after i told him to send whatever we've done to my email.
lol.
i so thick skin.
but seriously. i even asked if he got pay attention in class or not. he said no. so OF COURSE things will go wrong. i asked him "so you got study?" and he said no. alamak jialat lah. and so just because of his own problems (not paying attention in class, not catching up on his own), he decided use his ulti move on me: RAGE. and all because i pointed out where he was wrong.
#okcan
he stomped off, pushed the door open so hard that if someone was there in the corridor, he'd be gravely injured. and yeah. stormed off.
once i was sure he wasnt coming back, i laughed to myself, and thought this is ridiculous. my classmates asked me what happened and i just related the whole thing to them. matthew said "zi cong is seriously weird" lol.
i couldnt agree more.
but hey. its okay to be weird.
just make sure you put in effort in your studies.
dont blame anyone else just because you didnt make the effort to understand what was being taught.
and control yourself more.
stop using **ck so often because it really shows how much self control you have.
i dont mind weird conversations.
i've been through all your weird convos for 2.5years already, im used to it.
just dont be ridiculous and unreasonable.
like in this case.
and zul is in our group too. GROUP LEADER. and we let him go off for FYP stuff. he came back, stuck with his FYP group.
#okcan
SEEEEEEEEEEE MY GROUP. its the three of us. i might as well be the only one doing all the work. and i tell you, gimme 2 days. i can finish the whole report. i dont need you guys to do it for me. im capable on my own. im just unfortunately paired up with yall. i understand what they're asking for, i know how to give them what they want.
im the strongest weakest link.
whoa. thats kinda weird.
but true.
i AM the strongest weakest link.
no doubt.
amazing how there are so many opportunities in poly to discover myself.
ahahhahahahhhahahhaa.
amazing.
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