simplicity :)

The more I see you, the more I want you.
Somehow this feeling just grows and grows.
With every sigh I become more mad about you,
More lost without you, and so it goes.

Can you imagine how much I love you?
The more I see you as years go by.
I know the only one for me can only be you.
My arms wont free you, and my heart wont try.

The more I see you, the more I want you.
Somehow this feeling just grows and grows.
With every sigh I become more mad about you,
More lost without you, and so it goes.

Can you imagine how much I love you?
The more I see you as years go by.
I know the only one for me can only be you.
My arms wont free you, and my heart wont try.
My arms wont free you, and my heart wont try.

The more I see you, I've got to have ya.










i typed out the lyrics on my own so i know i can trust my ears!! hehehehe :D
I LOVE THIS SONG.

Reins.

Well, today's quite a day. Woke uo 4 times just to finally gey outta bed at 7.30, then met alison at 8.20ish for morning run. First time running in so long sia. Macam zombie like that. Anyway. Enjoyed the 'run', attempted pull ups but ny muscles were still aching so i couldnt do my usual number.

Then after all that we went for breakfast at teh tarik.

On the way there while walking, we were talking about where to go to next, then we were like

"aiyah wanted to ask claire along, then you can meet her. At least can go watch lorh"
"your parents know about yall two anot"
"no lah, they know i like her only, but dunno that we're together."
"then cannot go out on your own meh?!"
"no lah cannot....not supposed to"
"aiyah then how come you can go out with me!!"
"cuz youre not..."

Yeah. I didnt finish the sentence. I couldnt. The words i couldnt utter out remained hanging on my tongue. But im sure you knew what i was gonna say...that youre not claire.

She pressed on for me to finish the answer, but no. I knew that the moment i said it, it would be a mistake. A horrible one. And i'd hate myself for a long time if i did say it. A friend so important to me, i couldnt possible say those words to her. I would be a terrible, insensitive, stupid human.

Anyway.

Bumped into her friend that should have turned up for the run as well. She brought her younger bro along. Finally reached teh tarik, and i treated her for breakfast since its been soooooo long since we last hung out. Had prata!! Hehehehe. Yeah paid for that one, then we bought this ice milo. Super big cup sia so it was like $2.20. Super ex ohmygosh. Aiyah. But once in a never-anymore-while is okay lah huh.

Lepaked there for a while, talked about this and that, then finally headed home at like 11am.

Bathed immediately upon reaching home, TF-ed, then slept for the last hour to pass by before leaving for ward mother's day celeb while listening to my new songs. Woke up with this thing on my left eye. Went to wash up, realised that there was something really wrong.

There was red lining on my lower left eyelid. At first i thought my eye was red. But soon i realised that it was some certain lining that had detached from some flesh. IN MY EYE. Pulled my eyelid down, and BAM.

Stye.

Again. But this time on my left eye. Showed it to mom and dad, and then i went down to get it checked on. The freaking eyedrop is so expensive. $42.80 or something like that. Plus consultation lah.

Anyway. Headed over to ward mother's day celeb at the stake centre. Ate well, then stayed back to watch ming and jeff play bball. Left at around 8pm. Talked about this and that.

But the part where ming left at smb, i really began to think.

I was wondering if and how i could say "if you wanna meet up after school, i'll try my best to get out early".
Was it possible for me to be released early? Yeah definitely. Its poly after all.
But what if, for some mysterious reason, that i could not?
What would be left of my credibility?
"you say you can but then now cannot. Make up your mind can anot?"
So how much can i say, and how much have i said already, before my words backfire on me?

Its a scary thought, really. Its creepy. But one that i felt must be faced.
There are so many things i wish i could do with you, but circumstances make it difficult.
Its not that im thinking of backing out. No, im not. I dont want to.
We're too precious to back out.
I'll still be understanding, dont get me wrong. I just wished that we could hang out more. And communicate more smoothly.

I still dont get why you dont wanna delete the smses. At least the less important ones. Isnt it a burden, smsing, because of all our smses stored in your phone? Lag so much.

But hey. Who am i to tell you what to do?
Im just your boyfriend. Not your dad.

Every time we touch - cascada

Well. How would i describe today? The morning was normal, slept a bit in DBD, did the tutorial, then had presentation during the second half, then slept again. 

Sleeping is so tiring. I don't know how that is possible. But it is. 

But anyway. Headed over to Jurong library after school, chope table. Reached at like 1245hrs? Here abouts. I remember checking the time. Then went to second floor, scout for table, go third floor, went around twice, then finally decided on a table with no charger. But still okay lah right. 

After like an hour, Claire came along and then we started mugging. Though I didn't really wanna...but oh well. Exams are coming, so better start preparing luh huh. But really no mood to study. Somehow managed to ah. 

Then mug mug mug, then Claire started listening to my iPod after I showed her the Despicable Me 2 trailer soundtrack lol. It's nice knowing that someone appreciates my music taste :P and I like sharing my music too. So nice :) 

Anyway, we breaked on the iPod also, played World's Hardest Game 2. Then after a while, went back to studying all the way till 1445ish? 

She went to LAN with John and her classmates ah I think. Anyway. So all in all, spent like 2ish hours with her? A bit short ah, but at least it's better than nothing. After all, I was looking forward to our meeting today, no? 

Why be unhappy about something when you can appreciate it? It's just a paradigm shift. 

So yeah. A bit sad that it's only 2 short hours lah, but its okay. She needs her space right. I can't possibly be hanging around her all the time I guess. 

Well. I don't know. I'll try, of course. I'll do what I know best, playing by ear. Then adjust well and run. 

But I still don't know. Sacrifice always has a price to pay. A token, of sorts. 

Somehow, for some reason, it felt like as if something was in the way. Something blocking communication? It felt like it. 

A division. 

Just like a Pretentious Piano Piece. 

What's my Strategy to Exist?

I'm pretty sure that it's you. 

annyeong!!

tired.
sooooooooooooo tired.
its close to being dead lol.
im like...a zombie.

okay maybe thats exagerated a bit too much. but still.
feeling like a zombie.

but tomorrow's a different story.
though ima feel like a zombie, im gonna be like a crazy 3 year old.
gonna be a mad kid tomorrow. but after school only luh huh.
presentation tomorrow.
impromptu. i only prepared the stuff today.
aiyah but super fast and easy also.

i guess..my presentation skills gonna come in again.
good thing i give talks and lessons in Church, plus public speeches in NBSS.

lovelovelove.

O-bla-di! O-bla-da! Life goes on!!

Im feeling it again.
Refer back to May 5th.

http://stationarysuns.blogspot.sg/2013/05/a-reason-to-sigh.html?m=1

Root and thought.

I had a dream today.

Feeling very tired, i slept at my table for around 20monutes before mom shoo-ed me to kor's bed. Laid there for 5minutes, fell fast asleep, ut not enough to notice that she had turned on the fan, pointed it in my direction and had some air freshener released.

Thats when i fell into a deep sleep, and this is when my dream commenced.

I was at Gek Poh Ville CC one night, leaving, probably going home. Within a few paces, i saw a bunch of friends: Dennis, Yi Yan, Chee Fong, Joseph, and a few others whom i dont remember anymore.  They were carrying food from KFC to a table nearby somewhere. For some reason, i told them to wait for me while i went to order food as well.

I headed over to KFC and looked at the menu overhead. The shop was already dimly lit, with almost all of the lights out. The menu was illuminated minimally by the lights that were shining onto the counter. After a quick scan, i looked directly at the only cashier present, and asked him the cost of a 2-piece meal. Surprisingly, he said that they werent selling that anymore. Second glance at the menu, they were selling what LJS would probably be selling instead.

After much conversation, trouble, frustration and knowing that i was in a press for time (for something, maybe meeting up with the rest), i almost ordered a $6.50 fish meal, but firmly told myself to just leave the shop empty handed. I did not have enough time to finish all that food in 15minutes, and paying $6.50 for a meal i could not enjoy.

It was then that i woke up. Weird dream? Yeah. The time was 6.30pm already - i had been asleep for an hour. A dream that short took me an hour.

Dragging myself to freshen up after quickly deciding to go for training, i began my attempt to figure out what my dream meant. I had been told that dreams hold meanings. A quick prayer (i dont know why) asking God to show me what the dream meant, and soon it quickly made sense to me as the pieces slowly but surely, fell snugly into their rightful places.

Firstly, i had come to a conclusion that i would stop attending karate trainings at SP for indefinite time. It is funny how the conclusion came first, and the reasonings following after. Anyway. A quick flashback to the dream helped me see the fit. I was soon to join the 'cart of SPKC graduates'. Look at the people: Dennis, Yi Yan, Chee Fong, Joseph. They have all already, or soon to be, graduated from the club/school. Yelling out to them to wait for me: it means that i would be joining them really soon. But how? I still have one more academic year to finish before i leave school and/or karate. Well, quit, of course.

The ordering if the dimly lit shop, upon reflection would take some time to figure out, was rather easy to see. It represented the problems, the politics involved and how i view the club trainings thus far. It wasnt pleasant, enjoyabke, and totally not what i was looking for. I almost settled for the least, trying to grab a nice full meal (possibly better trainings in the future), but realising that i wont have time for it, neither the will and desire to have it.

See? See how it all fits into place? Well, before i left home for training, i tweeted something i've never given enough consideration to, with much confidence: "Donning on the uniform again, before i lay it to rest."

Well. Im sure most people eould be able to figure it out. Its like the laying down of the Army's No4.

Somehow, throughout the wholr experience, i was so sure, so sure, for the first time regarding this matter, as to what to do. It had so much resolute powering it, i had no idea where such sureness came from.

After all, i joined karate in the first place to learn how to protect lives, not to participate in fancy, meaningless competitions.

The only thing that i am still concerned about is whether the revelation came from on High or from the depths Below.

I shall have to pray once again to know for myself.

Wishes.

I wish i could relive saturday morning again.
I wish i could have gotten my hands on a polaroid. I tried, returned unsuccessful.
I wish i could have more time with you.
I wish for eternity and immortality.

I so desperstely wish.
But at the very least, just let me dream again.