I'm falling, falling, but I wonder if anybody's there to save me

[22 Dec]

"I'd rather have bad times with you, than good by myself"

Lieing here in bed, just chilling and resting, because today was such a crazy day. Took the cadets for their bandaging and immobilisation test for the whole morning all the way from 8am till 12.30pm without any food in my stomach. Started KED in the afternoon from 2pm onwards till 4+pm, then had a 4km run immediately after that. Front scout (again) and it made me super shag. It's been so long since I've ever exercised, then suddenly one 4km come out, plus tio front scout also...die lah...didn't eat dinner at cookhouse because there was turkey in the mess (for Christmas!!). So I went there after the whole day ended. 

Helped myself to turkey 😏😏

Ate as much as I wanted, as much as I could. I saw the pretty ME2 Ting Ting at the mess!! But okay. She left soon after. I watched some TV, enjoyed the aircon for a while, then figured out that I was still tired and dirty and sweaty, so I forced myself to leave the comfort of the sofa, and go back to bunk to shower. I was pretty tired so I just sat on my bed and leaned against the wall. 

And then I fell asleep. 

I don't know how long I was our, but I woke up kinda groggy, and almost asked Ridhwan if the shower was cold. Lol of course it is cold. It is forever cold. Dragged myself to the toilet and took a good shower. The cold water made me wake up. 

Took a slow slow ending to the day...but I'm still stuck in my head. Stuck in my thoughts and my emotions, and I can't get myself out. Really really need to find a way to get out of this mess...