No chank you

[22 August]

The past few weeks have been crazy, learning how to be an instructor, adapting to the current batch of specialist course medic trainees, learning the ropes of how to run the course. Learning how to handle people, evaluate them, mete out punishment, motivate them, push them past their limits...it's all exhausting work, but if done right, is fulfilling. A lot of things to do lah, so that's why I haven't written any blog posts in a while...

For the first time, I've seen a regular keng for morning exercise and marching. She approached me one day for advice, and so I gave her advice. I don't think she knows that I'm watching her even more closely now. Either way, I'm not treating her any different than before. I need to be impartial. No special treatment just because you're a female sign on, not because you approached me for advice. But I really hope you improve yourself and don't end your trainee days the way you are now.

Route marches, runs, exercises, lessons, study sessions. The life of a medic trainee.

Institute today, no missionary meeting because they went for service project. Reached late because I cooked a late lunch and finished eating at around 1520hrs. Reached at around 1620hrs, so not too bad luh. Sat beside dimps and Trish and ming. Sian Bea not there. Anyway. Chank came in at around 1640(?) with someone in tow and sat on the right side of the table after stealthily walking behind the TV. Dumdumdummmmmmm. Normal lesson, aside from the fact that you kenna arrow by Pres Lai (I tell you he purposely one). After class ended, supposed to go say hi to the new guy, but nah. Not cuz I didn't want to, just that I'd rather not. Even though I know I should.

Because him being there means that I failed on my part. I'm not trying to dig up the past, but it's just that I was reminded of my mistakes. Don't worry, I'm still cheering you on :) but besides that, YES I'm still shy of new people. It's been like that with me for ages (literally), and it's hard to let go of. I'm just constantly shy of talking to new people.

Maybe me serving a mission would do me tremendous good. So anyway. We all took the same lift, and me being me, didn't look his way. But yeah. I still haven't introduced myself to him yet. I guess I should do that soon. Provided he comes to church again. I'll need to work on me talking to him though. Find some topics to talk about...idk, how do you even strike up a conversation with someone you don't know :/

Yeahhhhhh.