Love and kumite

Okay so that last post was a bit drama-ish. But heyyyyy it really did feel like it during the competition. Either way, I'll proceed to write a short post about my kumite (sparring) match.

While waiting for my next event to begin, guess who I saw? My nephew and niece, Nathaniel (nate for short) and olivia, my cousins "offspring" lol. I saw them outside the concourse walking in with my uncle and aunt from my dad's side, and immediately I squeeled like the happy fella I was and raaaaaaaan towards them. Imagine me wearing my gi, belt not worn, squeeling, and running like a complete idiot. Hilarious.

I got onto my knees and hugged them (yeah theyre kinda short) and mentioned how happy and surprised I was to see them here. I entertained them until it was my next event. But of course, I left myself eith more than enough energy for the upcoming match.

It was a few events after my kata, maybe 4 or so events. I was supposed to judge but guess they didnt really need my help since they were comfortable in the chairs. Jerome was up first against somebody (thought it was me though, my name was in the first bracket). And since I had all my gear ready, I had to pass him my shin guard among others, and had to scour around for a pair for myself.

By the time Jerome won his match, I still had not gotten my equipment ready. It took me a little bit more time to be prepared. Zhi jie was pitched against me. How unfortunate. FOR ME. Hahahhaa reason being that he learns a few martial arts, thus being well versed in combat. I determined I was doomed before the match even began. Nevertheless, I still did give it my best shot; he is an opponent, and I dont take skills into consideration when I enter the match. Sounds drama? Truth.

The match began and I scored the first point, perhaps too soon, within the first 10seconds. He then proceeded to throw (literally throw) punches and roundhouse kicks at me. Not part of sports kumite style that we try to follow during competitions, but he got the scores anyway. I got knocked to the ground after he swung (im not kidding, he did swing) a punch at me.

Medic got called in then and a few more times to check if I was alright. Once, I remember my nose beginning to bleed. Good thing it never came. Or else I'd be out of the match. He had already scored on a number of occasions till I told myself that the gap in our points scored (I was still stuck at that one point) was getting too wide. If he managed a 8point lead, I'd lose immediately. The next thing I told myself is that "no way am I letting this happen".

So I fought back as best as I could. I managed a few points, but by the time the time limit was up, I felt that I had lost. I wasnt even gasping for air, as I usually would be. I still cant decide if thats a good thing, or bad.

The referee announced that we had a tie. Hooray!! I didnt have my specs on so I couldn't tell what the score was. Whatever it was, the important thing was that the four judges and referee make their decision.

Bambambam. 3 flags to red, 2 flags to blue.

DANGGIT I LOST BY ONE FLAG WTH.
Haiyah. Suay. I think I could have won though. Honestly. Cuz I feel that I had better form..? Plus I followed the rules of the match. I didnt fight dirty. So clean.

Sigh anyway. Cant change it anyway. Bleughhhhhhhhh!! :<

kata.

i'll mainly blog about the competition and grading for 18 jan 2014. since i dont have much else to talk about.

supposed to report to SP Concourse at 090hrs.
i woke up at 0658hrs, decided i was early and had time, so i went to the toilet and then back to sleep.
mom woke me up at 0830hrs, reminding me it was time to go to school. i was late.
since i had my bag packed already, i just ate cereal/milk for breakfast, and headed off to school.
arriving at 0930ish-hrs, i figured out where concourse was and just followed my instinct. found it in the first try lol.
thought i was mega late but only to find out that nothing was really set up already, so i went with the others to get the mats and transport them from the clubhouse all the way to concourse. imagine that distance we covered.
we quickly set them up and slowly by slowly more people were showing up. things started to look the way they should, but of course we didnt start at 1000hrs. more like 30mins later or so, idk.
the black belts started to show, and slowly settled down.
once things were in order, the grading began.
first it was the yellow belts (we didnt have any white belts) doing their kihon 1 and kihon ido 1 then their kata.
next up was all the greens, browns, and probationary black (danielle and i). kihon 2 and kihon ido 2. kata.

danielle and i were the last two to play our katas. she went up first cuz her name was placed before mine (alphabetically speaking). she was asked to perform one of the taikokyu katas, tenshou, sanchin, sanseiro (not sure about them llolololol).

then it was my turn.
100% serious mode. great feeling.
first up was taikokyu kake uke. shouted kata name, and began.
messed up the second step. supposed to do a mai geri and then a mai hijiate, but i did a mai geri, mai hijiate AND a chudan zuki.

"flip" i said.
yes, i said that out loud, but not too audible.

i returned back to heiko. i heared shihan ask "are you ready?"
"hai"
"okay again".

did it again, this time no mistakes.
good.

next was seienchin, sanseiro, and then sanchin.
jerome had told me earlier that i might need to take off my top gi during sanchin so they could conduct the necessary "tests" during the kata. it didnt worry me, i just took it as getting used to being topless at various times during NS.

but anyway. before i began the kata, i asked if i was required to remove my top gi, but they said that it was not necessary. so be it.

so i begun the kata, reliving the same moments so many years ago when i took the grading to be promoted to shodan-ho. and now, taking the same grading to be a shodan. joseph ho was the tester since he had booked out from army. i made tiny mistake, but i hope the panel didnt notice it.

once i was done, it was time for lunch (1300hrs), we bought macs at T16 (imagine a group of fellas walking with full gi, some without belts, all the way to T16). saw fareez otw to SMA with 3 of his friends, waved to him, and he waved back with a "hey".

got the norm, mcspicy, brought it back to concourse to eat with the others. reached at 1335hrs, and ate up quickly. last one to finish though LOL. reporting time was 1345hrs, but i think other people only started to show up at 1400hrs. late people make things happen later. bad bad bad.

began the competition at like 1430hrs or something. medics had arrived. my kata event was the 3rd event to go i think, and was first pitched against ei fong. i played seienchin and he played geksai 1. . naturally, i won. then i was up against jerome. kevin came up to me before the match, and confirmed if i was playing sansero. i confirmed with a "yes", and he reminded me to "be firm", taking me back to thursday's training when he helped me learn how to play it better.

seriously, my best buddy in poly. he's such an amazing person.
i thanked him, and got ready for the bout.

jerome was aka (red) so he went first. he played suparinpei: a kata that he had learned during my absence. high level (i think) black belt kata. with my sansero, i was sure to lose.

he started.
a third way in, he stopped. he had forgotten the next move. remembering, he continued.
a little way more, he stopped, figuring out the next move. once again, he remembered, and continued.
as this continued to happen a few more times, i was convinced that i still stood a chance with my lower level kata.

he closed his kata once he finished, and walked out of the mat.
my turn.
game face on, lets do this
its either my best, or i'll be bested.

walked along the outer perimeter of the mat to the center.
turned to face the panel.
bow.
walked into the mat, stopping 2/5 of the way in.
stood in heiko stance, then remembering to be in musubi dachi, i made the changes.
dangit. lol. *game face still on*
shouted my kata name in my competition voice.
do or die.
if i play this kata beautifully, i could just win a gold.
lets go.
first step.
second step.
third step.

all eyes were on me.
because i demanded it with my presence.

"look at me play my kata, and be awed. im not afraid, neither am i ashamed."

hand to shoulder.
snap down.
twist hips, step forward, right handed scoop, left handed break, leaning forward. all in one second.
look frontwards, X-block, left front kick, step down, right leg forward stance, right front elbow, left cross punch down.

pause.

pull right leg back to cat stance, raise up, snapping down into a knee-breaking kick, cross over left foot, turn.
left front kick, step down, right leg forward stance, right front elbow, left cross punch down. pull right leg back to cat stance, raise up, snapping down into a knee-breaking kick, cross over left foot, turn.

completing the 4 directions, i paused a short while. next step. lower X-block.
right leg crosses left leg horizontally with an over-body grab, then moving back likewise to the previous stance with a mixed block/elbow strike.
looking to the right now.

pause.
right leg sweep, hands sweeping in a mawashi uke, stepped forward with a small forward stance and a morote zuki. my kiai fills the room fiercely.

right leg steps over, turn, left side block.
one step forward, another side block.
down to low stance with my left leg, mixed block/elbow strike.
left leg sweep, stepping forward with a small forward stance and once again, a morote zuki. my voice fills the room again. mercilessly. a death cry.

pause.
left leg crosses over, turns. im facing the front now in a low stance. my hands sweep up in a circular motion, displaying a crane block. i pause a good while, maybe 3seconds long. it feels like eternity.

i close my kata. bow. and step to the side i was assigned to. jerome steps in, stands on his side.
soon, the decision has to be made. jerome with his high level kata with a few mistakes, or my lower lever kata filled with my best.

3, 2, 1.
5 flags are raised.

1 for red.
4 for blue.




i won.

Dreams of demons

Another two weird dreams last night.

The first was held in a cave: Just as we began down a well trodden path, we turned left and soon came across a stone tablet on a wall, which concluded the path. About 80cm across and 1.5m tall, it read something about the undesirable fate of people who decided to carry on along the path. a large and spacious mansion, carved out carefully with delicate beauty. Staglamites and stalactites enormous in nature held the ground above and below, preventing terrible destruction from collapsing. We, a group of sorts, were admiring its majestic nature. Though the path stopped in front of the tablet, the leader in our group promptly picked up his pickaxe and with the blunt end, pushed the stone tablet further into it's crib.

I immediately knew that something bad was to happen. Seconds later, the ground jerkes and trembled in two successive times - our fate was alread here.

Air gushed throughout the cave, and especially stronger at the path we were all on. I rushed back to the entrance, but it had been sealed up by sand which had somehow solidified. Dust kicked up as the wind rushed about, as if oblivious and uncaring of our presence.

Hiding in the corner where the wall meets the sand-constructed seal, I faced the wall, palms covering my ears, eyes screwed shut, and waited for my fate.

The screaming wind and quivering walls felt human to me, but even worse than that, a harbinger of death, as the intensities grew stronger wih time.

Soon, when I knew it was my time, I instantly felt lighter. I opened my eyes carefully, expecting to see death strewn about, but only to notice light. Beings of light. Their form was that of human, yes, but void of features. There was no discernable face, limb, nor any part of them that says huamn. Furthermore, you could see through, and past, them; their only sillhouette depicted by only lines of light.

I raised my hands to my face and noticed that I, too, was a being of light.

-end-

Yeah I cut out a bit of the ending of my dream so that it would be a nice story hahaha. The events afterwards are really boring, like how I met someone I knew and we walked up a flight of stairs and then end. I woke up after that. Hhahaha. Boring right XD.

It was 5ish-am when I woke up. I was terrified somehow. I went to the toilet, peed, and while going bsck to my room I was so afraid thst I might see those beings of light kingering in my house. I prayed I prayed I prayed so hard that I wouldn't have to lol.

Weird dream.

Sickness. Yucks.

Oh man.

Vomited at around 3pm on saturday, then after 30mins or so, vomited again. First out was my lunch (nasi lemak) then probably my breakfast or dinner from the night before, judging from the consistency and texture of the vomit.

Yucks right? I know. Hahahhahha

Rested at 5ish-pm, all the way till 11pm.  Slept at 2+am on the couch in the living room because of the discomfort. I lined the couch with my blanket since the couch had a cloth over it which mom washes, and it was scratchy and annoying. Tried to coax the last instalment of vomit out but it didn't work. Since the couch was right by the windows which were wide open, the cold breeze was coming in steadily. I noticed that whenever I shivered, I would get the urge to puke. So I kept myself exposed to the cold wind (masochistic me hahaha) and tried to coax the vomit out. Guess what? IT DIDN'T WORK. So I tried to go back to sleep. During the intense shivers I would pray repeatedly to feel better.

During all these rests, I was drifting in and out of sleep with weird dreams all the time. Woke up at 3am by my parents to go back to my bed. I moved my pillow and shirt (see how much I exposed myself to the cold breeze) back to my bed while dad carried my pillow and bottle and vomit bucket (in case I needed to puke and the toilet was too far away) (and it somehow helps me to vomit idky).

And then BAM it hit me. I could walk nornally without stooping over, I had a particularly clear mind, no headache, I had reasonable strength (considering myself a sick person), and no nauseatic feeling. Weird!! I immediately linked it to the cold weather and dismissed how absurd it was. But upon later reflection, I knew that it was an answer to my prayer.

I took sunday off to make sure I recover well. Plus I didn't wanna get anybody else sick unintentionally. Supposed to attend ward council meeting at 11am but bishop only sent me the text at 9.39am. And Bro Karl whatsapped me at 11ish-am (probably when the meeting was over). Furthermore, I only woke up at 2pm. Guess my body needed more time than I thought to recover.

-its 0044hrs now on monday morning and the sound of rain is so comforting, how it drowns out the rest of the world-

I had porridge for lunch/dinner at 6pm. Showered. Rested again and then had vegetable soup (childhood memories ohmy) since it was a thin soup (not so taxing on my stomach) for dinner at 2340hrs. Then here I am, back in my bed...

FYP group calling me back to be in school tomorrow at 1000hrs but I told them that idk if I can make it on time or at all. Yes I feel better but not yet fully recovered. I guess my immune system isnt that strong after all :/

Then I've gotta be back in school for the rest of the week for the engineering show. School should have been cancelled if I were a year2 or year1 but since I have fyp...its gonna be normal engie show. Sigh.

So yeah...hopefully I can skip engineering show but I don't wanna be sick for so long...

After all thats been said and done. [4 Jan]

Sometimes, I feel like quitting.

Quitting in school.
Quitting in karate.
Quitting in music.
Quitting in church.
Quitting in life.

There's so many things I wish I never had to go through. Has it made me a better person? Not necessarily. Has it made me a worser person? Hard to say.

And for the past two nights, I've been having dreams. Not common for me to have dreams two nights in a row. What makes it even worse is that I dream of so many things in one night, and they're especially random which doesnt seem to hold any significance. It seems to be around 8 different dreams each night, maybe more. All random, all short in duration. It could be as random as me eating breakfast, or me crying to a song sung by Ali. 

"Don't Be Foolish". 

I remembered the lyrics, and when the song started playing, I started to cry. And I don't know why. But hey, it's a dream after all. It's not like as if we know what's going on all the time.

Nobody knows the grime I go through of living the life I have, and nobody knows what it's like to have a personality like mine.

I dont even know where im going.